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The Blind Leading The Blind: My Slutty Friend

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WORDS M.K Smith

One of my best friends got badly dumped by her long-term boyfriend a few months ago and has started acting really promiscuous since. It’s starting to bother everybody in our group because she has no shame and everybody is discussing her sex life behind her back. She is giving herself a really nasty reputation. Should I do anything about it, or just keep my poker face? It’s making me lose respect for her.

I feel terribly for your poor friend. She’s not only been dealt the ghastly card of heartbreak, but also been dealt the ‘shitty friends’ card. I’m sure that bluffing her way through recovery from a nasty breakup has left her a little blind, and all of her chips are down (okay I’m sorry, I’ll stop with the poker puns now – but you started it). If this behaviour is new for your friend, perhaps she’s just acting out because NEWS FLASH, breakups suck!

Why is everybody in your peer group merely discussing her proclivity for casual nookie instead of, oh I don’t know, making sure that she’s doing fine? I’m sure by gossiping about her antics behind her back you are only adding to the reputation, not detracting from slander. And why do you care so much about who she’s sharing her swimsuit areas with? There’s this little thing called catharsis, and if this is what she wants, just let the girl be. But it’s also your job as a friend to make sure she’s using protection, not being taken advantage of by creepers, and actually happy with the choices she is making. Talk to her, not about her. After all, she has to make her own choices, as do you.

Will you be a supportive friend and try to understand if she is doing this for her own pleasure, or will you let your lack of “respect” get in the way of helping out someone you care about? Stop bottom dealing your friend if this is a relationship that you want to Texas Hold’on to, and I bet that, with a little understanding, your friend will feel like she’s hit the jackpot (I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist).

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Film Review: Fast and Furious 6

Fast and furious 6

We sent two Grapeshot staff members to review Fast and Furious 6 at the IMAX theatre in Darling Harbour. Everyone is talking about the blockbuster that’s dominating cinemas right now, but is it actually any good? Toby and M.K did not agree with each other.  

M.K Smith didn’t quite enjoy it:

Is Fast and Furious 6 a film, or did I just have a two hour seizure? Either way, the franchise’s gang of ragtag criminals is back again to wreak havoc, possibly faster and more furious than ever before.

It’s unfortunate that they spent the whole budget on crashing cars into glass buildings, because Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson really could’ve benefited from t-shirts that didn’t cut off the circulation to what normal humans call ‘arms’. Scene chewing must be effective for carb-loading, because both Vin Diesel and Johnson are as muscle-laden as they are robotic. The rest of the cast doesn’t fare too well, either.

There’s some emotional stuff going on in the film, though I’m not really sure what the stuff is because I didn’t bother watching the first five films (also I spent duration of this one either counting the alarming veins on Johnson’s arms or trying to nap).

I of all people cannot claim to be a cinephile, but Fast and Furious 6 is a dumb, forgettable, money-grubbing film. To its credit, though, it doesn’t pretend to be anything but. Snobbery aside, the film isn’t completely terrible. There’s decent cinematography, good pacing and plenty of attractive people to gawk at.

If you appreciate ham-fisted acting, teeth-gratingly cheesy dialogue and casual vehicular manslaughter, go see this film. And if you’re especially concerned that this will be the last masterpiece in the series, fret not, because a seventh movie is set up quite nicely in the dying moments of this instalment.

I’m not going to watch it.

*****

Toby Hemmings loved it:

Sometimes it’s the simplest things that make us happy: a smile, a funny line, a massive fuck-off explosion. There came a point when I just switched off my critical self and allowed a huge grin to cover my face, simply because this film is so much fun.

Its predecessor Fast Five pointed this long-questioned franchise on the right path with two decisions: 1) Let’s make this less about cars and more about elaborate oceans-style heists (and just when you wonder how the story can be any more fast and furious after five installments, the answers are ‘vehicles’ that are much bigger than cars); and 2) Let’s bring in the walking growth of muscle and charisma that is Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.

Fast and Furious 6 does not stray from these wise guidelines and also incorporates the usual rag-tag crew including Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris as the usual source of unexpected banters, Vin Diesel, the attractive women and other hangers-on. Most interestingly, it turns this motley bunch into a family, a concept that plays surprisingly well throughout the film.

It doesn’t reinvent the wheel and snobs will look down on it with utter disdain. There are multiple references to the previous storyline but it doesn’t stop you from enjoying all the action that is balls-to-the-wall awesome. The dialogue is funny and intertwined with utter car-porn. Now this is how you do a summer action blockbuster (Yeah, I’m talking to you Michael Bay).

Check your brain at the door for the added entertainment.

Fast and Furious 6 is now playing at the IMAX Theatre. Watch the trailer here.

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