WORDS M.K Smith
One of my best friends got badly dumped by her long-term boyfriend a few months ago and has started acting really promiscuous since. It’s starting to bother everybody in our group because she has no shame and everybody is discussing her sex life behind her back. She is giving herself a really nasty reputation. Should I do anything about it, or just keep my poker face? It’s making me lose respect for her.
I feel terribly for your poor friend. She’s not only been dealt the ghastly card of heartbreak, but also been dealt the ‘shitty friends’ card. I’m sure that bluffing her way through recovery from a nasty breakup has left her a little blind, and all of her chips are down (okay I’m sorry, I’ll stop with the poker puns now – but you started it). If this behaviour is new for your friend, perhaps she’s just acting out because NEWS FLASH, breakups suck!
Why is everybody in your peer group merely discussing her proclivity for casual nookie instead of, oh I don’t know, making sure that she’s doing fine? I’m sure by gossiping about her antics behind her back you are only adding to the reputation, not detracting from slander. And why do you care so much about who she’s sharing her swimsuit areas with? There’s this little thing called catharsis, and if this is what she wants, just let the girl be. But it’s also your job as a friend to make sure she’s using protection, not being taken advantage of by creepers, and actually happy with the choices she is making. Talk to her, not about her. After all, she has to make her own choices, as do you.
Will you be a supportive friend and try to understand if she is doing this for her own pleasure, or will you let your lack of “respect” get in the way of helping out someone you care about? Stop bottom dealing your friend if this is a relationship that you want to Texas Hold’on to, and I bet that, with a little understanding, your friend will feel like she’s hit the jackpot (I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist).